Dealing with divorce is extremely challenging, particularly for children. This is one of the reasons why a collaborative approach is recommended to help children cope with divorce.

Like any form of collaboration, a collaborative divorce requires cooperation from both husband and wife. Having agreed to split and legally end the marriage, the couple works together (with their respective attorneys) to reach a settlement that will be beneficial to both of them, and for the children.

Only once they have reached an agreement is the petition for divorce filed with the court. This avoids potentially messy and unpleasant litigation in court, with both parties fighting openly for what they do and do not want. Sometimes this is the only way, but it is particularly hard on children who are often forced to take sides with one or other parent.

Advantages of Collaborative Divorce for Children

Collaborative divorce aims to provide an amicable (or at least civil) process. It may not be an easy process, but by doing it this way the family can draw on the support of professionals who remain neutral and non-judgmental. Every couple’s needs are different, but typically these professionals might include therapists, child specialists, financial advisors, and possibly also mediators who intervene when there are disputes and help to achieve an agreement (or series of agreements) that will benefit everyone in the family.

Because the couple reaches agreement before the divorce action is filed there is no fighting in court. Since there are very few people who can remain unaffected emotionally by the experience of litigation – especially in the case of divorce – this will inevitably help the children cope more easily because stress is minimized for all involved. Also, the very nature of collaborative divorce means that the couple must work together rather than against one another.

Another big advantage is that the couple gets to decide their own fate instead of leaving it to a judge to decide. In contested divorce cases the couple fights it out in court and the judge decides what is best for the family. Even with the best will in the world, an outsider can’t know what is the best solution. That person can only take the facts presented and then make a legally sound, educated guess based on legal argument – which, by its very nature pits the requirements of the two parties against one another.

The costs associated with divorce may also be lowered substantially because there isn’t a fight in court. Both parties are responsible for their own attorney’s fees as well as court costs and the fees charged by any professionals enlisted to help reach closure. But this seldom exceeds the usually high costs associated with traditional litigation in a divorce court.

Why You Need a Collaborative Divorce Attorney

While collaborative divorce involves agreement, this cannot be achieved without legal representation. Collaborative divorce attorneys don’t make decisions in terms of what should be agreed. Rather, they become advisors in terms of legalities and they ensure that their client’s rights are protected in terms of the law. They also promote respect and honesty and help to facilitate communication.

If you need a good collaborative attorney in Georgia who cares, contact the professional team at Waggoner Hastings Family & Collaborative Law to set up an appointment. We can help you make divorce as painless as possible for you and your children.

To file for divorce in Georgia, a couple must be “separated,” meaning they no longer have marital relations. While many American states offer legal separation as an alternative to divorce, Georgia doesn’t recognize this option. However, the courts do support separate maintenance, which is very similar in concept.

If married couples decide to separate without getting a divorce, they can remain in the same house together as long as they don’t share a room or engage in relations. So, while they may decide to continue to live together, all conjugal rights are suspended. Alternatively, they might choose to separate and live apart.

Georgia law states that the two parties will “live separate and apart” without any “interference, molestation, authority and control, direct or indirect, by the other as if sole and unmarried.” However, they may live wherever they choose.

The law also gives possible grounds for separation:

1. By virtue of a mutual agreement – where there was no specific fault involved.
2. Due to “misconduct” including adultery, domestic violence, excessive drug use, or abandonment.

There is no specific period linked to separation and when couples can file for divorce or separate maintenance, but a minimum of 30 days is recommended.

Why Separate Without Filing for Divorce?

Even if a marriage has dissolved, and there is no likely prospect of reconciliation, some couples opt to avoid divorce.

Sometimes this decision is taken for religious reasons, because remaining married affords them certain protections or benefits, or because they would like to raise their children in a home with both parents.

Separate Maintenance and Separation Agreements

Rather than separating informally, separate maintenance takes care of vital issues including marital property, shared debts, alimony, child support, visitation of minor children, and child custody. This involves a court order, and commonly a separation agreement, between the two parties. To qualify for separate maintenance in Georgia, at least one spouse must have lived in the state for at least six months before filing.

Whether a couple is planning to divorce or want to go the route of separate maintenance, it is usually a good idea to enter into a separation agreement. Ultimately, it is a binding document that indicates how the parties wish to proceed. Signed by both spouses, it also resolves any property or debt related issues, as well as those that involve a child or children born from the marriage.

Separation agreements can be very detailed and complex, and it is best to have an experienced Georgia divorce attorney draw it up for you.

If you live in Georgia, the attorneys at Waggoner Hasting Family & Collaborative Law firm can handle your separation maintenance case and draw up a separation agreement that will protect both parties.

There is absolutely no doubt that separate maintenance and a separation agreement will provide both emotional and financial security in the absence of a formal divorce.

In the past, a court proceeding was one of the only options, if not the only one, for divorce. These days,  divorce mediation is a popular option because it offers a personal and less stressful experiance to an already tense situation. Mediation can also take less time than divorce court proceedings and involves far fewer people and documents.

Mediation does require a certain amount of knowledge and finesse. If you have never been to mediation or negotiated with someone else for what you want, you may feel overwhelmed at the prospect. Your divorce mediator is there to help you, but knowing negotiation tips will increase your confidence, clarity and calmness at the table as well. At Waggoner Hastings, we have a few favorite negotiation tips that may help as your mediation date approaches.

• Ask for What You Want

In a divorce mediation, you have the power to explain exactly what went wrong, how you want to fix it and how you are willing to compromise, in your own time and on your terms.

Ask, but do not feel like you have to demand. Remember, mediation is about finding a solution that pleases everyone. No one is accusing anyone else. Evidence, documents and burden of proof are not part of the picture. If you do not get what you want, the mediation environment gives you the freedom to discuss the outcome and pursue other options.

• Listen More Than You Talk

It has been said we were given two ears and one mouth for a reason. Some negotiation experts recommend listening twice as much as you talk or listening 70% of the time while talking the other 30%. One of the most effective negotiation tips for mediation is to tune in to what the other person is saying. Pay attention not only to what is being said, but how it is said. What is the other person’s body language? Is he or she leaning forward, showing engagement? Did he or she cross arms or legs after your last statement? Paying attention to cues like these can tell you if the other person is open or closed to what you think and feel.

When listening, do not plan what to say next. Ask open-ended questions that cannot be answered “yes” or “no.” This encourages the other person to talk and helps you both feel like you have an equal playing field.

• Research

Mediation sessions are much easier when everyone does his or her homework. This does not mean gathering evidence against someone. Rather, it means asking yourself questions about the other person and why he or she might have done or said something. What pressures is this person under? Do they have more or fewer options than you, and is that why they might come across negatively?

• Investigate Divorce Mediation Further

If you are unsure whether divorce mediation is the right option for you, or you need more effective negotiation tips for mediation, contact Waggoner Hastings. Our divorce attorneys are well-versed in mediation and negotiation techniques, and are equipped to help you through this difficult time.

Divorce is a rough process, there’s no doubt about it. It turns lives upside down and by its very definition pulls families apart. No couple enters marriage with the intent of it ending, and when a marriage does fall apart, it’s a painful time to say the least. Divorce can not only be painful, it can be an additional source of bitterness and resentment which can ruin a once fruitful partnership.

It doesn’t have to be that way, however. If you act in the right ways at the right time, your divorce can go much more smoothly, and it doesn’t have to necessarily ruin the friendship upon which your marriage was formed. Here are some top tips to make divorce easier, and what you have to do in order to make sure that your separation goes as smoothly as possible for you and your spouse.

How Can You Make Your Divorce Easier?

The biggest key to making your divorce easier is to stay calm, put the bitterness aside, and remember that the two of you, once upon a time, were partners. Plan in advance, do your homework, and protect what’s yours, but understand that compromises still need to be made. Let’s look at some specific steps to take.

Act When Positive

As soon as both spouses are in a positive mindset, which usually comes shortly after the decision to divorce, you should immediately get together and act. There’s almost always a point where both spouses want this to go fast and amicable, and that’s the time to make it happen.

Make a Plan

Make a plan of action. Organize all the information you have about your assets and property, your retirement accounts, investments and every other asset you have, and quickly decide who gets what. Agree on custody plans right away, and determine who gets primary custody and how child support will work. Be as complete and organized as possible. If you hit a stumbling block, move on and come back to it.

Keep Family and Friends out of It

Everyone will want to offer their support. Right now, that just means they’ll be in the middle of something that’s painful and ugly by its very nature. Keep them out of it. It’s much better to preserve friendships all around by not letting them get involved.

Focus on the Future

Divorce is an ending, but also a beginning. While you’re working on closing this chapter of the book, make plans for your future. Let your ex go, and focus on finding yourself again, and taking control of your life back.

Choose the Right Attorney

Not every divorce has to be a fight to the death. The right divorce attorney has a vested interest in keeping things smooth and fast. They might even be able to mediate a divorce to help both of you come to the right decisions about what you need. They’ll protect your rights, but they won’t be out to destroy your relationship.

If you want an Alpharetta divorce attorney who will give you unbiased advice, protect your rights, and help you with tips to make your divorce easier, Waggoner Hastings can help. Call our offices for a consultation today.

As the annual winter holidays loom so too does the threat of stress that can lead the breakdown of marriage, a US study predicts. Ironically, it seems to be due to the fact that holiday periods represent the opportunity for new beginnings and something a little different to the norm.

The study led by Professor Julie Brines, who is a sociologist based at the University of Washington, involved an examination by scientists of divorce filing patterns over a period of 14 years between 2001 and 2015. The researchers found that divorce patterns:

1. Peaked in August after the mid-year holidays
2. And they peaked again in March, which seemed to relate to the Christmas-New Year break

Why the Holidays Affect Marriages

It’s largely speculation on the part of researchers, but the fact that divorce rates seem to spike after annual summer and winter holidays could be due to a number of factors. According to the study, it could be because:

• Divorce is caused by the stress that follows financial restraints caused during the holidays, especially Christmas.
• Couples don’t want to file for divorce or even separation during holiday periods that are generally important to family life.
• Holidays often don’t live up to the expectations of a new beginning that is often set by married couples. Researchers called this “an optimism cycle”.
• In northern countries, where Christmas is cold and the days dark and long, it could be that couples wait until spring (ironically a time of new beginnings) to end their marriages.
• The seasonal pattern embodies other factors including the housing market and unemployment, both of which can impact on the motivation of couples to get a divorce.

According to Professor Brines, the link between divorce and the holiday seasons is very similar in different states – specifically Arizona, Florida, Minnesota, and Ohio. Also, there is a similar pattern whether couples file via mail or appear in a court of law. Also, there appears to be a similar pattern for guardianship filings after the bi-annual holidays.

Property disputes, on the other hand, didn’t show similar patterns. This could be because property issues aren’t as close to family life as divorce is.

Perhaps the real reason is that tension between couples will simply get worse during holiday periods because there aren’t the usual daily distractions like work to keep them from focusing on the reality of a marriage on the rocks!

Waggoner Hastings Family & Collaborative Law is a law firm based in Georgia that specializes on divorce planning and compassionate family law. If you need advice, call us now for a consultation.

Marriage doesn’t always work out, and there’s certainly no reason to beat yourself up if you end up filing for divorce. The really hard part though is when children are involved. Far too often they blame themselves for causing a rift between their parents, or on the opposite end of the scale feel that their parents hate them. Generally, neither scenario is true, although there can be many negative feelings that affect everybody concerned.

While there’s no escaping your moment in court to get a divorce, there are ways to lessen the pain for all parties. Provided both parties are prepared to co-operate, divorce mediation is a really good option. Instead of fighting issues out in court using traditional litigation processes, they get together with mediation attorneys and sort things out in a rational way. You don’t need to like your partner for divorce mediation to work. What you need is a knowledgeable mediation attorney who can facilitate the process, encourage communication, and promote understanding between the two parties.

The goal is to reach a divorce settlement agreement out of court.

About Divorce Mediation and Divorce Settlements

Divorce mediation not only avoids the unnecessary expense of litigation, it also avoids the inevitable trauma of litigation and minimizes the typical hostility that goes with it. Instead, it enables couples to come to an equitable, mutually acceptable agreement that is also legally sound.

Because it is less traumatic, there is usually less negative impact on the children. Going to trial is intensely stressful for most people, and even though they aren’t expected to appear in court, this stress will rub off on the children.

Another issue when minor children are involved is that there will inevitably be some type of relationship that will continue between the parents, at least until the children leave school or college. Having a neutral mediator work through problems is in the interests of long-term relationships, and undoubtedly works in favor of the children.

Of course, the over-riding reason for divorce is the breakdown of the relationship, for whatever reason. This usually goes hand-in-hand with all manner of disputes, from money matters to child custody. Whether agreed to voluntarily by both parties, or instructed by the court, divorce mediation is recognized as an excellent way of dealing with disputes out of court. Although similar to other out-of-court settlements, divorce settlements agreed to during mediation must be ratified by the court. This means that if one or other party does no comply with the agreement, the other has recourse back to court.

If you are planning a divorce and are keen to work with a divorce mediator, contact the divorce mediation and family law specialists at Waggoner Hastings Family & Collaborative Law today.

When parents divorce, essential issues that must be taken care of include child custody and co-parenting responsibilities. Irrespective of who is awarded custody of the minor child or children Georgia law requires a parenting plan that details co-parenting schedules.

Couples who have chosen the route of collaborative divorce will, with the help of a good family law firm, usually draw up their own co-parenting agreement, which is then approved by a court of law. But it is not necessarily cast in stone, particularly when it comes to holiday periods like the forthcoming summer break.

Co-parenting is intended to benefit the children, and so it is vital for divorced parents to maintain communication, and to cooperate with each other, and compromise when necessary. For instance, it is quite possible that one parent or the other is planning to vacation during the summer break and this might mean adjusting the co-parenting schedule. Perhaps the father is going away for the summer break and would like the child to go with him, even though he would ordinarily only have the weekend with his child. Or he may not be able to take the child with him and so won’t be able to fulfill his function during this time.

Co-Parenting Schedules and Required Plans

The precursor to any co-parenting schedule is the custody agreement.

Sole custody is when one parent is given the right (and responsibility) to make all the major decisions about the child who by virtue of sole custody live with him or her. Parenting time (established by court-approved visitation rights) is then awarded to the non-custodial parents in a legally endorsed parenting plan.

Joint custody takes several forms:

1. Joint legal custody where both parents make decisions that involve the child. These include issues relating to religion, health care, education, and sport and recreation, as well as decisions if there is any kind of emergency. While the parents have equal responsibility, sometimes the judge will give one parent the authority to make specific decisions and then share the decision-making process for others.
2. Joint physical custody involves sharing the time children spend with them. This might, for instance be on a weekly basis or monthly basis, depending on practicalities.
3. Joint custody may be limited to either joint physical or legal custody, or it might combine the two.

The law is quite specific when it comes to parenting plans. First and foremost there must be a parenting time schedule that indicates where the child should be 24/7, 365 days in a year. Other specifications include:

• What transport arrangments will be made when the child moved between parents.
• Who makes decisions relating to the child.
• How disputes will be resolved if and when they arise.
• Any limitations that prevent a parent from making contact with the child when the other parent is caring for the child.
• Any limitation on either parent’s right in terms of accessing information about the child relating to health, education, religion, and so on.
• Details of any supervised parenting time required.

Resolving Issues Relating to Co-Parenting Schedules for the Summer Break

During the summer break many parents will simply follow the parenting plan approved by the court. But if there are issues that arise because of vacations, birthdays, or anything else, the ideal is for the two parents to discuss these and make a mutual decision that will be in the best interests of the child.

If the parents can’t agree, they should follow the rules laid down in the co-parenting schedule that cover resolution of disputes. If that doesn’t work, the best approach would likely be to consult a mediation attorney who can help resolve issues.

Ultimately it is vital for all parties to act in the very best interests of the children.

The empathetic family law attorneys at the Waggoner Hastings Family & Collaborative Law firm are specialists in mediation and they can help you amend co-parenting schedules for the summer break, if this is what you need. Contact us today to discuss your needs.

Divorce is not an easy path, even when both parties know it is the only solution. But when one person in the failed partnership refuses to let go it can be unbearably difficult, particularly when children are involved.

This is one of the reasons mediation, or collaborative divorce, are usually the best approaches to take. The other option is straightforward (but often ugly) litigation, where a judge will make the rules. Litigation is generally more stressful for everyone concerned, and undoubtedly the most expensive option. Since the judge decides on the divorce settlement, if one spouse refuses to “let go,” clinging to the relationship, this can cause additional problems after the divorce is final.

Collaborative divorce and mediation attorneys can help to obviate this type of scenario.

How an Alpharetta Collaborative Divorce Attorney Can Help

Before the divorce case goes to court, the couple works through their differences with their own collaborative divorce lawyers – out of court. Then they reach an agreement, together, on a formal divorce settlement.

Additionally, when couples consult with collaborative divorce attorneys they often work with other professionals too. These may include financial, child and other specialists and divorce coaches. With their experience, these professionals can help both parties come to terms with the reality of divorce, even if one is refusing to let go.

Because both parties have their own attorney, they also get expert legal advice that is specific to their individual needs.

Typically a divorcing couple working with collaborative divorce attorneys will agree how any mutual (marital) property, as well as debts, is to be divided. The process also sets boundaries for the future, including custody and parenting plans if children are involved. Spousal and child support is also part of the agreement.

Once the couple reaches an agreement that they consider to be mutually beneficial, the attorneys handle the necessary paperwork and file for divorce in a court of law. As long as the judge is convinced that the divorce settlement has been negotiated in a fair manner, and neither spouse has been unfairly favored, it’s simply a matter of rubber-stamping the agreement to make it legal.

If the couple can’t reach consensus and the divorce ends up in court, neither of the collaborative attorneys may represent their clients.

How Mediation Attorneys Can Help

Like collaboration, mediation is an out-of-court process that costs less than litigation. Using mediation attorneys enables couples to control the outcome of the divorce settlement in a similar way to collaboration. However, only one attorney is involved, and that person must be completely neutral.

In the event of one partner refusing to “let go,” the mediation will try to persuade both parties to be reasonable. Ultimately, having decided to divorce, neither party can move forward if one is hanging onto the past.

If you are facing the prospect of divorce, come and talk to our experienced Alpharetta collaborative divorce attorney and mediation attorneys. You’ll be glad you did.

Divorce is never easy, but starting out a New Year after divorce can be particularly challenging. Nevertheless it is also an excellent time to make a new start as our Alpharetta collaborative divorce attorneys know.

On the positive side, you’ve been through the divorce process, which can be really hard. You have reached a settlement that you are now going to have to learn to live with. This might include children. But whatever your circumstances, there are ways to make it easier.

Be Happy

It might sound like a platitude, but you really do need to be happy – even if divorce wasn’t what you really wanted. If you focus on joy and happiness and are grateful for what you have (however little it may seem) you will become a happier person. Relationship coaches often suggest that people in this position think of something they are grateful for every day. You might surprise yourself!

Keep a Journal

This goes hand-in-hand with keeping happy and is a proven way to keep a positive mindset. You don’t have to write a book, but rather use the journal to record your hopes and positive dreams. Reflect on the day that was and consider how you can continue to be positive and happy tomorrow.

Set Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are important in all relationships, and just because your marriage failed doesn’t mean you should disregard them. In fact, there’s a good chance that one of the reasons your marriage failed is because you and/or your partner didn’t have healthy boundaries. Make of list of things you cannot tolerate. For instance, if people make appointments or promises they don’t keep, decide how you will react – in your own interests. You don’t have to put up with bad behavior.

Learn to Love Yourself

You need to respect yourself, and love yourself, however “wrong” you might think you were in your marriage. This is also the perfect time to put yourself first.

Trust Yourself

Any marriage entails give and take, but often couples give so much to one another they forget who they really are. If you’ve forgotten what your core values and beliefs are, delve into your own consciousness and rediscover yourself. Ask yourself what you want from friends, possibly a new partner; what do you think about world affairs, politics, religion? Trust yourself…

Enjoy Your Own Company

Many newly divorced people are afraid of being alone and this can often lead to a rebound relationship. But instead of looking for someone else to fill the void, learn to enjoy your own company. Do things you enjoy doing and do them on your own. You might be surprised at how happy this will make you.

Make New Friends

Romance apart, it’s a good idea to make new friends after a divorce. Join a hiking group, a sports club or a book club, or just spend time with your neighbors.

Travel Somewhere

If you have the budget go on vacation. Otherwise just get in your car – or even catch a bus – to different places. Chances are you might even meet new friends.

Find New Hobbies

There must be something you love to do – gardening, reading, mosaics, sewing, knitting… Just do it.

Money Management

Financial planning is important, especially when you’re on your own without another breadwinner. Everybody’s budgetary needs are different, so it is often a good idea to ask a professional financial planner for advice.

And if there are any legal issues you need help with the Alpharetta collaborative divorce attorneys at Waggoner Hastings can help you.