Divorce is never easy, but starting out a New Year after divorce can be particularly challenging. Nevertheless it is also an excellent time to make a new start as our Alpharetta collaborative divorce attorneys know.
On the positive side, you’ve been through the divorce process, which can be really hard. You have reached a settlement that you are now going to have to learn to live with. This might include children. But whatever your circumstances, there are ways to make it easier.
It might sound like a platitude, but you really do need to be happy – even if divorce wasn’t what you really wanted. If you focus on joy and happiness and are grateful for what you have (however little it may seem) you will become a happier person. Relationship coaches often suggest that people in this position think of something they are grateful for every day. You might surprise yourself!
Keep a Journal
This goes hand-in-hand with keeping happy and is a proven way to keep a positive mindset. You don’t have to write a book, but rather use the journal to record your hopes and positive dreams. Reflect on the day that was and consider how you can continue to be positive and happy tomorrow.
Healthy boundaries are important in all relationships, and just because your marriage failed doesn’t mean you should disregard them. In fact, there’s a good chance that one of the reasons your marriage failed is because you and/or your partner didn’t have healthy boundaries. Make of list of things you cannot tolerate. For instance, if people make appointments or promises they don’t keep, decide how you will react – in your own interests. You don’t have to put up with bad behavior.
Learn to Love Yourself
You need to respect yourself, and love yourself, however “wrong” you might think you were in your marriage. This is also the perfect time to put yourself first.
Any marriage entails give and take, but often couples give so much to one another they forget who they really are. If you’ve forgotten what your core values and beliefs are, delve into your own consciousness and rediscover yourself. Ask yourself what you want from friends, possibly a new partner; what do you think about world affairs, politics, religion? Trust yourself…
Enjoy Your Own Company
Many newly divorced people are afraid of being alone and this can often lead to a rebound relationship. But instead of looking for someone else to fill the void, learn to enjoy your own company. Do things you enjoy doing and do them on your own. You might be surprised at how happy this will make you.
Make New Friends
Romance apart, it’s a good idea to make new friends after a divorce. Join a hiking group, a sports club or a book club, or just spend time with your neighbors.
If you have the budget go on vacation. Otherwise just get in your car – or even catch a bus – to different places. Chances are you might even meet new friends.
Find New Hobbies
There must be something you love to do – gardening, reading, mosaics, sewing, knitting… Just do it.
Financial planning is important, especially when you’re on your own without another breadwinner. Everybody’s budgetary needs are different, so it is often a good idea to ask a professional financial planner for advice.
And if there are any legal issues you need help with the Alpharetta collaborative divorce attorneys at Waggoner Hastings can help you.